Zander Mahaffey and Leelah Alcorn, On a bridge too far and fallen stars.


His name was Zander, he was a young boy who needed help, now he’s been lain to rest under a stone with the wrong name by a family who if they could have seen past their own bloody mindedness could have had a wonderful son. Her name was Leelah, she was lain to rest in a suit under a male name because her parents decided their faith was more important than their beautiful daughter who needed support and love, not “fixing”.

On march the 7th in memory of the fallen some in the community will be marking their bodies with a simple star. I will be joining them. We’ve all lost friends, allies, band mentors to suicide somewhere along the line, and this time we have to say ENOUGH. Reparative therapy of trans kids does not work, the church know it, the so called therapists know it, it’s time to consider whether for the childs welfare those subjected to this torture, or whose parents turn away from them in time of need should be considered for compulsory therapy themselves. Rather than claiming life after life trying to cure the incurable.

Trans lives matter , and I am sick of seeing the victims lives treated secondary to the parents selfish, and often downright dangerous wishes. Anyway there’s not much more to say. Rest in peace Starboy, rest in peace Leelah. To any out there thinking of taking that route, please reconsider, there’s a veritable army of brothers and sisters and a whole world in between out there right now who have your back, we’ll be there for you and all ya need to do is say the word. You are never alone, never ever ever forget that. All you’ve gotta do is say the word. Anyway this is unchained signing out, to those out there looking for help, don’t give up, neveer give up on who you truly are. Also to all our Brothers out there, never forget we’re rooting for you too. Hang in there dudes.

When a movement is hijacked: on 269 and ruining lives.


I posted awhile ago about my pride in participating in the 269 action. Now my pride has been destroyed as good actions by so many have been hijacked and corrupted to serve a sickening agenda.

Of late there has been a growing push from within the movement to work with all comers, be they racist, sexist, homophobic, transphobic, or any other brand of bigot. This is a completely twisted course to take. Animal rights is only effective so long as people respect us, these actions do nothing but discredit us.

While inequality exists for ANY inequality will remain for all, the only way a movement ofr the scope and sheer size of animal rights can be effective is through intersectional activism. Nobody should be forced to sell out one belief to support another. If you want to be racist all you will do is brand a good movement as racist. If you are sexist your actions will taint the entire movement. That stain will never wash away.Of late many of 269’s actions are to my eyes as a feminist sickening, misogynistic, and add to rape culture. This is unacceptable. From bigotry springs speciesism, as long as a human being can say they’re only, be it they’re only a nationality, a sex, a sexuality, a gender, or a species the slaughterhouses will continue to thrive. After all, if we can say of our fellow humans they’re only then it reinforces the “they’re only animals” paradigm that we fight to overcome. 269 You have lost your way, please as a movement reconsider your actions, look to the consequences and change before we fail everything we fought for.

A message to abacrombie and Fitch. On the bullies hate, and resultant fate.


To whom it may concern.

 

I recently read with disgust a quote from you, on how you only want people of a particular shape and size shopping at your store. I was sickened, then I realised something.

I FIT YOUR CUSTOMER MOULD. So then I had a thought, I am coming for a visit abacrombie and fitch, yes the ugly transwoman  with a face that looks like it had a date with a sledgehammer who is probably everything you despise is coming to visit. To make matters worse I will not be subtle. I will wear enough makeup to make a drag queen say “oh I say darling go easy on that stuff.” I won’t so much apply makeup as slap a shovel full on my face and leave on whatever sticks.

When this is done I will come in and try on literally everything in store, and given the fact I’m 5’9 with a 00 waist odds are most of it will be loose. I will complain loudly when it’s baggy, and let it be known when something fits like a potato sack. I really don’t give a shit about labels or propriety , and you wanna know what I’ll do then? I’ll leave, without buying a damn thing. Then I’ll come back, and I’LL BRING FRIENDS. If there’s one thing I hate in this world it’s a bully, especially the one who tries to warp kids minds to a pretty lil kodak moment mould. You reinforce that stereotype. So Abacrombie, so fitch, welcome to your own personal hell, hope you enjoy your stay.

 

Yours Sincerely

 

Aura Willow Hazel

 

A message to MRA’s , on hijacking and smokescreens.


This is a short and simple message to the scum in the mens rights movement hijacking our name. You do not get to speak for transpeople. So you hate radfems? Then have at least the fucking decency to oppose them in your own name not ours.

You who appropriate our voices, YOU are the enemy. At least TERFS don’t pretend they are defending you while appropriation your voice.  You who have actively opposed the treatment my brothers and sisters or indeed all my kin so desperately needed, you who oppose bodily autonomy and womens rights. Do you think the trans community will forgive your vile transgressions committed in our name? You have no honour, no courage, and now not even honesty. 

We know our enemies. Wearing our name like a sheepskin will not prevent us seeing the sad , pathetic wolf beneath. You who hurt us right through our lives, who tortured us with gender roles worsening our depression at our transness. You who enforced those stereotypes with threats and violence. You who made our lives hell. We will not forgive, and we will always remember. Most of us bear the scars of a lifetime to ensure it.

To the individual who has been threatening me. On death threats and online pests.


To whom it may concern.

I received your letters, every single one of them. Yes that includes the death threats, and the ones threatening rape and torture, and I had just 1 question. Did you think this was news to me? That your threats would somehow cause me to cower in fear?

I am afraid I will have to disappoint you. You can threaten all you like, nothing you could ever do to me can be worse than I’ve already experienced. I will never back down, not to the likes of you. I will not stop posting, if you dislike a trans person posting online you are perfectly welcome to stop reading my stuff at any time you wish. I will not be afraid of you, in fact I pity you. So blinded by your own hate you can’t accept another human being for who they are. So fearful of difference you felt the need to stoop to this just to make your hollow life seem meaningful.

Meanwhile I will do nothing whatsoever differently, and will continue to do precisely what I need to do for my own well being.Feel free to hate me if that is what gets you through the day. Do not expect me to return the favour though. Hatred is a waste of energy that could be put to far better use. I wish you luck in your life and sincerely hope one day you get your life back onto a worthwhile course. Yours sincerely,

Aura Willow Hazel.

Autogynephilia theory, on vested interests, and precedents set.


Ok time to dive in at the deep end yet again, it is time to discuss Autogynephilia theory.

Now to start opening this can of worms maybe we should begin by actually breaking down the theory itself, from there we can point out the fundemental flaws in this theory much more easily.

Autogynephilia theory is a theory coined by doctor Blanchard to divide transsexuality into 2 categories, the first of these categories is suprise suprise the homosexual transsexual,the second category being autogynephiliac transsexual. The first category is supposedly made up of transsexuals who transition for the male gaze, any non surgical transsexual person blanchard discusses he seems to shove into this category. The second the autogynephile is apparently any transsexual who is aroused by the thought of sex with themselves in a female body.

This theory has so many problems it is beyond belief, and its impact on us as a community is huge.

So now we know the theory maybe it’s time to discuss these flaws.

1. The homosexual transsexual, this is one huge issue from start to finish, it is based entirely on harmful stereotypes, assumes that trans folks are just gay men in denial, and to top it all off insultingly mislabels its victims. A trans woman who is attracted to men is precisely that, not a homosexual transsexual but a transsexual woman with an attraction to men. this myth is a direct contributory factor in Irans policy of surgical assault upon any individual with a history of crossdressing or who is unfortunate enough to be found to be homosexual . This is why this fundementally flawed point must be stopped, its perpetuation provides an excuse for surgical assault upon any individual who does not fit perfectly into the non trans, binary identified, heteronormative paradigm.

2. Transsexual people are still people, the autogynephilia theory seems to forget this . I may be aesexual myself but looking in I can see quite clearly human beings are a very sexual race for the large majority of cases. Most peoples bodily perceptions help define their sexuality, but what happens when that perception does not match with the body. Is the individual supposed to deny the existence of their sexual desires? or are they supposed to try to play along using a body that never ever fit who they were? a body that odds are repulses them.

Autogynephilia theory is nothing short of a deliberate act of sexuality shaming and control.The entire theory seems to be using a transsexual persons own bodily awareness , and often their own internalised transphobia as a weapon against them. It assumes that a trans persons sexuality defines every other factor of their life . It is insulting to everybody, assuming gay individuals transition due to lack of  strength to be themselves, that they must find above all else conceal their sexuality . It spreads about a meme that leads to direct surgical assault, that leads to reparative therapy despite the fact reparative therapy for transsexuality has been proven not to work and to also act as a contributory factor in increased suicide risk, worsening depression, and in some cases post traumatic stress if attempted. This theory also erases the existence of aesexual transsexuals such as myself, And is based on a theory of transsexuality that uses horribly out of date information and is fundementally flawed,

and finally 3. this theory was proposed and backed by individuals known to support reparative therapy including in one case a well known ex gay therapist. There were inadequate controls in the research and a clear bias was displayed throughout with weighted questions and cherrypicking of candidates.

As such Blanchards theory of autogynephilia and the linked theory autoandrophilia  are fundementally flawed, perpetuate harmful myths that damage individuals right across the LGBT spectrum, and all in all are merely sexuality shaming in a new guise. Our community already has enough of that to begin with in healthcare but that is an article for another day.

A message to people who identify as allies to the trans community.


This message isn’t to all allies of the trans community, only to those who use misogyny as a weapon against people who are anti trans, please if you want to be an ally cut that shit out, it is doing harm and no good will come of it however good your intentions may or may not be.

By reinforcing patriarchy with misogynistic comments you are showing yourself as no true ally to our community. Trans women identify as female, we identify as the class woman, ergo when you allow your brain to be overridden by your anger and say sexist shit you aren’t just belittling the person you are arguing with, your actions also impact directly on those you seek to defend.

Furthermore reinforcing patriarchy makes it harder for trans men to be accepted as not the gender they were mistakenly assigned at birth by reinforcing the very power structures that make transition difficult, and identifying their gender label they were incorrectly assigned at birth as if it is somehow inferior. This also do a hell of a lotta good for those who identify non binary either.    So please please please think before you post , we do not need more enemies, and if we are going to convince people we speak the truth about who we are and want anybody to believe us the last thing we need is to allow sexism to speak for us.

Rapist freed because their intended victim was trans.


My faith in humanity is dying, a swedish court just freed a man because his intdended rape victim was transgendered, I shit you not. The wonderful logic behind this move? apparently since she was trans, ergo not posessing a vagina she could not have been raped.

This woman was beaten, her pants ripped off, and the attacker then proceeded to attempt a full out attack. Mercifully for the victim a witness intervened , however the courts decided the man was trying to rape the woman,  they ruled that it was in fact a woman the man wanted to rape, not a ‘physical man’ and although the fact that the victim had undergone hormone therapy to change gender was considered, the court ruled there was no completed rape.

There you have it, a full blown sex attack is apparently cool in sweden, just ensure your victim is trans, as appatrently all transsexuals are unrapeable. I must send a memo to my rapist to appraise him he is in fact innocent it seems. Never mind the fact this basically strips humanity from us, no equal protection under law, it also opens up a huge ass can of worms, have they not realised yet, not all rape victims identify or live as female, they just provided a lot of rapists a get out of jail free card. Way to go sweden, we will remember your courts think so little of our humanity.

Mispronouning, gender therapy, and the fallout. (extreme trigger warning)


Quite a few people come to us to discuss the validity of our identity, that in itself would be fine, however the manner of approach is not.

“I respect you as a woman but……….” do you see the problems there? let me break it down for those who failed to grasp the issues.

Problem 1, but………. , this is fairly simple really, if you respect somebody as who they are would you really need to add the but?, let’s rephrase it a little, “I respect you as a human being but…….” How about “I respect your opinion but……..,” try “I respect you as not a complete asshole but………” Now once more with feeling do you respect my identity or not? adding a proviso to respecting my identity just shows me you have about as much respect for my identity as is convenient for you at the time, it tells me your respect for me is worth precisely jack shit.

Problem 2. If you respect me as a woman why would you need to validate it in such a way? would you go up to a white hetero non trans individual and say “I respect you as a white hetero non transsexual”? didn’t think so, why not? because if you respect a person then you don’t just play lip service to respect, you respect a person in your actions. So we reach my problem, in many communities the but mentioned earlier is added , “I respect you as a woman but you are not a woman” being the usual one . So you respect my identity yet you are now going to completely invalidate it? So respectful. Here’s the kicker though, did you know when you say those words to a trans woman, or tell  a trans man you are not a man you are not the first person to tell them that?

It is standard practice in the gender clinics to remind all trans women of this fact throughout the process, because believe it or not, despite whatever you may have been told gender transition is an actively discouraged practice within the NHS.

Transition takes usually a minimum of half a decade, during that time do you assume we are helped? no, what happens during that time is all the indoctrination of a childhood, all the misoginy, all the bullshit, neatly compressed into 5 years. During transition you don’t get forced into present day gender roles, you get pushed back into roles better suited to the 1940s. Dress adrogyne, refused treatment, dress too masculine, rejected, dress like any other woman on the street and you’ll be told you’re not even trying.

Ever been refused medical care because your eyebrows weren’t waxed? I have, have you ever had a medical professional laughing behind your back as you walk away from hospital? How about having your records actively lost for over a year?

Oh also did I forget to mention the NHS have an additional requirement before hormones? a period of time living full time in role, that means going out every single day presenting as best you can as the gender you are transitioning to.

While this gender roles bootcamp is ongoing people outside the medical system decide to attempt DIY reparative therapy, corrective rape, assault, being spat on, cursed at, and publicly humiliated are day to day routine if you do not pass, and believe me no matter how good you are those first few months you will not pass.

Over recent years I have been assaulted over 30 times, had a knife shoved in my face twice, being sexually assaulted more times than I care to count , and being raped twice. After the second assault I couldn’t even go to the police again, I was crossexamined by a male officer after a sexual assault, who repeatedly mispronouned me, made it clear it was all my fault, and did fuck all to find my attacker.

My dentist is now advising me my jaw may need surgical correction for the sheer number of hits it has taken, it cracks every time it moves. All these attacks have one common factor, they all start with somebody guessing my birth sex, when you deliberately or accidentally use the wrong pronoun it isn’t big, clever, or harmless.

Those 5 little words are like a cork in a bottle of trauma, every time they are said all that pain, all those memories, all the nightmares spill out. I’m pinned again while that maniac holds a knife to my face and mutters how he thinks I’d like it if he cut it off then raped the wound. I’m back in the park, alone where I was ditched by people who used to be my friends, when they found out about my transition used those 5 little words. I’m surrounded again by 5 grown men all the other people around just walking by looking away, none of them will stick their neck out for me because “you are not a woman” Those words to a trans woman are trauma incarnate. Still think mispronouning does no harm?

If so go back read again and think about it a little, then come back and talk to me I’ll be happy to do so in a respectful and polite manner, however if you mispronoun me I reserve the right to be pissed off.

The Third Person


Who is this third person,

who follows me into the room?

I’m sure I heard them mention her,

which never is good news.

When they mention her, it costs me my autonomy

they even mix the pronouns up,

and take away identity..

Does she get to decide for herself?

when to eat?

when to sleep?

what to do with her health?

All through they never really offer a voice,

they must decide for her,

that isn’t her choice.

why can’t she dress up more?

try looking the part?

like the roles all that matters,

right from the start.

Maybe more frilly clothing?

and a big plastic grin?

what is she a barbie?

I think deep within.

They seem to dullwitted,

to just understand

that the roles are not really the issue at hand,

It’s like your damn body,

has a weird second head,

they could try to fix it,

but slap on makeup instead.

Or just try to hide it,

with false smiles and a dress,

they’re too foolish to see,

the bodies the mess.

Isn’t surgery drastic?

they ask every time,

like she hasn’t the right ,

to make up her mind.

Must be a desire to belong, they all say,

to a community that hates her?

oh no fucking way.

Next they try taking,

her pets and her home,

supported accomodation,

for not playing the role.

Comorbid Autism,

a wretched excuse,

for taking a persons freedom to choose,

I just wanna scream,

why can’t they see?

instead of a magic third person

try talking to me.

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